#WHAT SHOULD STANFORD CALL ME

When I tell my friends from home it was cloudy yesterday so i couldn’t tan

They’re like: 

When I pass out before making it all the way home

My friends are like: 

When someone doesn’t dress up for a progressive

When I take adderall before writing an essay

I’m like

: 

When I got home from Bay to Breakers

When the Shakespeare Company puts on a show

When i go to late night

When 5-sure won’t pick me up

and I walk home like:

During spring quarter

All my conversations start with: 

When synergy runs naked through parties

I’m like: